15 Warning Signs of a battering Personality*

If your significant other or a family member acts this way it is time to get help or get out.

1. Quick Involvement
Comes on strong, claiming, “I’ve never felt loved like this by any one.” Pressures you for an exclusive commitment almost immediately.

2. Jealousy
Extremely possessive, calls constantly, or visits unexpectedly.

4. Unrealistic Expectations
Expects you to be perfect and meet their every need.

5. Isolation
Tries to cut you off from family and friends; deprives you of a phone or car; tries to prevent you from holding a job.

6. Blames Others for Problems
It’s always someone else’s fault-the boss, their parents, you-if anything goes wrong. Everyone is out to get them.

7. Blames Others for Feelings
Always saying, “You’re hurting me by not doing what I tell you” or “You make me angry” instead of “I’m angry”.

8. Hypersensitivity
Is easily insulted. They’ll rant about injustices that are part of life.

9. Cruelty to Animals and Children
Kills or punishes animals brutally. Also, may expect children to do things way beyond their ability, or tease them until they cry.

10. Playful use of Force During Sex
Enjoys throwing you down or holding you down against your will during sex says they find the idea of rape exciting.

11. Verbal Abuse
Constantly criticizes you or says cruel things; degrades, curses, calls you ugly names.

12. Rigid Sex Roles
Expects you to serve, obey, and remain at home.

13. Sudden Mood Swings
Switches from sweet and loving to explosively violent in a matter of minutes.

14. Past Battering
Admits to hitting women or other partners in the past but says the other person or the situation caused it.

15. Threats of Violence
Makes statements such as “I’ll break your neck,” then says, “I didn’t really mean it.”

*source: Legal Aid Society of Middle Tennessee and the project for victims of Family Violence, Fayetteville, Arkansas